January 18th, 2005

Time: 07:48 pm Current Mood: depressed

WOW I FEEL SO CONFUSED R/N. LIKE I REALLY LOVED EDDIE BUT I KNOW HE IS IN LOVE WITH SARAH AND IT REALLY HURTS BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT I DO IT WONT CHANGE THAT:(

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March 29th, 2004

Time: 05:03 pm Current Mood: blah

I am reall ybored norman please help me im bored. blah blah blah.

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March 18th, 2004

Time: 04:35 pm Current Mood: mischievous

mY BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME. :( He went out with my best friend for a day and broke up with her. So I guess I'm not really mad caz he dumped her. hehe:) My best friend is a bitch for going out with him though. but thats ok caz he dumped her boobless ass. HEheHEheHE!!!! I don't relly like her anymore shes really stupid and lazy. Oh! and I like someone.. well actually 2 people. Xavier (hess soooooo hot and funny) and someone else that I won't mention caz I know Norman is reading this. well I g2g im gonna go talk to my hot neighbor and go skateboarding with Brittney. bye!

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March 12th, 2004

Time: 08:18 pm Current Mood: tired

IM AT MY AUNTS HOUSE AGAIN VERY TIRED. TODAY FOR PE I WAS GOING TO DO THE LONG JUMP AND I GOT PULLED OUT OF CLASS RIGHT BEFORE MY TURN. I REALLY FEAL BAD BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY BOYFRIEND. BUT ILL CALL HIM TOMORROW. I REALLY LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, HES SO AWESOME. YESTERDAY NIGHT WHEN WE WERE TALKING ON THE PHONE HE FELL ASLEEP, I LISTENED TO HIM FOR A WHILE AND HE DOESN'T REALLY MAKE A LOT OF NOISE WHEN HES SLEEPING. WELL I BETTER GO, UNTIL NEXT TIME, BRIANNA

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March 9th, 2004

Time: 08:58 pm Current Mood: anxious

IM BORED AND i LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. NORMAN IS COOL. CHICKEN BUTT. BLAH. WHATS UP DOCK?LATERS. I LOVE HOT GUYS!!! DEAD IS GOOD.

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March 8th, 2004

Time: 09:17 pm Current Mood: blah

HELLO. IM SITTING IN SCIENCE BEING REALLY BORED SITTING NEXT TO NORMAN. HES COOL. ON SATURDAY MY MOM HAD HER BABYSHOWER AND I DITCHED IT AND WENT AROUND TOWN WITH MY BF HIS BRO AND HIS FRIEND. WHEN MY BOYFRIEND AND I WERE BEHIND A SCHOOL WE MADE OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME. HES ACTUALLY A GOOD KISSER. HIS BROTHER LIT MY ARM ON FIRE WHEN I WAS KISSING MY BOYFRIEND THOUGH. WELL I BETTER GO BYE!

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February 19th, 2004

Time: 04:37 pm Current Mood: lonely

I'm so miserable right now, my mom won't let me go out because of my asthma. It sucks because My boyfriend wanted to go to the movies and I couldn't go. I miss him. Yesterday when him and I were on the phone, he asked me if I would ever make him choose between his friend or me. I told him I wouldn't and that was true, because why would a person put their significant other in a situation like that? I think if you really cared for them and loved them you wouldn't make them do that.

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February 17th, 2004

Time: 01:32 pm Current Mood: sad

I'm home today and sick as hell. This morning I went to the doctors office with my mom, her doctor was bein a bitch to her, or at least thats what my mom told me. I was in the car, I wanted to die, I was in there for 2 hours! It sucked ass. I haven't heard from my boyfriend yet, but I've been thinking about him alot. I wonder what hes doing right now. I wonder how my aunt is diong. I wish I chose to stay now that I'm here, but I can't really do anything about it now. Oh well.

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February 16th, 2004

Time: 05:12 pm Current Mood: confused

I made up my mind and I'm going home. I don't know if I choose the right decision but I miss my boyfriend, so hopefully I will see him soon. I kind of feel bad about leaving my aunt here to be alone for the week without any help from me or my uncle. Every time I think about it I feel more and more bad about it. I really don't know if I made the right choice. But I hope in my heart I did. Hopefully it will be an enjoyable week back home, and I don't fight with my family, and of course I want to see my boyfriend. I hope I'm not making a bad decision. I better stop writng because the more I think about it, the worse I feel.

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Time: 10:49 am Current Mood: Undecided

Good morning, I just woke up and took a shower, I feel a little better than yesterday. Today I might go home if my mom picks me up on her way home from Oregon. I hope she does. But then again I have to be with my family when I'm home and I have to listen to thier bull I don't really get along with them. My mom and I get along okay sometimes but sometimes she can be a huge bitch, and she lets her boyfriend yell at her and make her feal guilty for stupid things. Sometimes I think she will leave him wich would be really good for her because he is not the right one for her. He is fat, ugly, shorter than her, has temper tantrums, smokes and drinks, yells at my family, makes fun of my family, talks trash, and makes up lies about me. He's really not a great guy at all. I wish that she would have founder a nicer guy. And she won't leave him, because he got her pregnant and she feels she can't make it without him. Wich is so not true, she can do whatever she wants with her life she just has to try. It sounds like a bunch of crap but its really true. My mom is a smart person but she chooses not to use all shes got to be happy and to have a more pleasant environment for my brother , the new baby to come, and I. I don't understand why. My brother and I only sometimes get along. He can do some pretty stupid things sometimes. I think he has a mental dissability because hes slow at everything he does. I kind of feel bad sometimes too, I feel sorry for him because he doest know any better but then I think, hes 10 and should know how to act by now. So all of this makes me question if I should go home for the week or stay here, with my aunt and 2 little cousins. My uncles out of state for work. My aunt is pretty cool and so is the oldest of my 2 cousins but the little one kinda drives me crazy because I don't really like babies, especially when they cry. Well I better figure out what I'm gonna do.

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February 15th, 2004

Time: 08:54 pm Current Mood: weird

Today I am at my aunts house. Its about 3 hours from my house and I can't see my boyfriend. I miss him so much. Today I called him and he had hurt his arm skateboarding. There was silence on the phone for a long time and he said he was going to hang up because of it. It made me remember about one of my ex-boyfriends. you see my ex- boyfriend and I would never have many conversations and it would be nearly silent when we were together. It made me crazy. I would have to talk myself and have him just nod and say ya or wow or a simple word. It made me less attracted to my ex. And so today when there was silence on the phone I felt like I was my ex not talking to me and my boyfriend was me feeling hurt, and not loved, quite angry. I feel much guiltiness for making my boyfriend feel that way. I love him and I hope he never has to here the silence again. My boyfriend is very special to me and I never want him to be hurt. And what happened today is really getting to me and my heart is aching from the pain. I don't want to loose my boyfriend because I fell that we should be together for a very long time. You see on the first day of the new school I attend I laid my eyes on him and wanted him to be mine. He looked so hot. And I thought I had never seen anyone so good looking in my life. But I thought he was to good for me and he was one of those people you think is so hot but would never go for you. And so I moved on but I always had a space for him in my heart. I had a boy friend and I thought he was so sweet but not the most attractive but I started to fall for him more and more. He wanted to much of me to fast. Pretty soon (2weeks soon!) I was heart broken because he had dumped me. Thats when I started dating my other ex. And his silence killed me but it did not stop me from liking him. Then I was again heartbroken for he could not take a long term relationship. I was single for about a month and was drooling over my boyfriend though he didn't know. My best friend was having a party and I finally wanted to hook up with my boyfriend and start dating him like I have always wanted. So one day I was hanging out with my friends and my boyfriend was there (he was not yet my boyfriend but ill call him that caz its easier)they all wanted to out me in my strait jacket. So they did and my boyfriend said "Hey, we can poke her boobs and she can't do anything," everyone laughed whatever and pretty soon I got out of the jacket. My best friend and my boyfriend were talking and apperantly she told him to poke me in the boob and he did, and I didn't do anything. Later he started saying I liked him,wichwas true,and he knew because I didn't kick him or anything when he poked me in the boob.And I guesshe told my best friend it "dawned" him and he wanted to go out with me. So I was on the computer that day just sitting down lookin at orlando bloom files.com and he called and asked me out. I remember I was so happy. I could have been the happiest girl in the world. And we've been together eversince. I have so many awesome memories with my boyfriend. Hes really an amazing person, and I love him and I hope he feels the same way about me and we never have to share another painful silence again. I really miss him and can't wait to see him back home.

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